If I Could Live in Hope: Sexual Abuse and Survival

July 2009

if_i_could_live_in_hope.pdf5.57 MB

My suggestion

I'm sorry to read what happened to you. Maybe I can give you a pointer from experience.

Many episodes like yours could be avoided if we had any sort of infrastructure to encourage would-be abusers to step forward and get help. We certainly do have such resources for alcoholics and others. An alcoholic can drink for years, leaving a path of wanton destruction of his/her family and material things, then go to AA, get help, be told it's not him but the disease, be encouraged, be told he's under the watchful eye of a benevolent higher authority. Let's say your abuser felt uncomfortable with his behavior after, say, two episodes. He was afraid his actions might escalate. Who did he have to go to? What would have happened to him had he gone to someone? A psychiatrist would have had a government-inflicted "rat out your client" mandate. So instead, he had to keep his issue to himself and integrate it into his ego. Your loss. Maybe you can work to ensure that scenario does not repeat itself.